My life has sometimes been too scheduled. And when I was part of a structured church experience, that reality was reflected in the programs and meetings in which I was regularly participating.

My life is somewhat less busy these days, and also less scheduled. It hasn't approached the far side of the teeter totter yet.. not quite chaotic, though there are times when it comes close.

It seems most of us live somewhere on the continuum between chaos and rigid structure. And intellectually we are somewhere on that line also. The right brain artistic types are usually toward the disorganized side of the scale, and the left-brain intellectuals are usually toward the rigid and structured side. One group thinks they have it all figured out, and they like it that way. The other group figures you can't really know anyway!

Most evangelicals are toward the structured side, and would argue that the entire weight of revelation pushes us this way. God is the Word and He makes Himself known. The Christian life is about revelation, not mystery. It's all about knowledge.

It's also about organization. "Aim at nothing and you'll hit it." "To fail to plan is to plan to fail." Most of us have heard these phrases, and most of us would agree that there is truth there.

Paul himself says, "God is not a God of disorder, but of peace." Non-charismatics (granted an artificial distinction) are fond of quoting this phrase for charismatics. But the context of Paul's exhortation is revealing.. a meeting where everyone is participating. Paul actually encourages the mutuality of the meetings, and his point is that it must be God who orders the gatherings. Reading the Corinthians passage, it sounds a bit chaotic.

I wonder then, have we gone too far? Is the western church too organized? Do we have too many charts and too much structure? Have we used our knowledge to actually suppress the work of the Spirit? Is our need for control so strong, our fear of disorder so great, that we have in fact not heard Paul at all?

Honestly, these verses make me a bit uncomfortable. In fact, this entire discussion makes me a bit uncomfortable. Personally, I prefer clarity and definition…and...control. There, I said it. I like to know where I stand and where I am going. I like measurable results; I am fond of success!

But could it be that people like me, with too much education and too much culture, tend to make great managers but poor mystics? Could it be that we westerners aren't always the most spiritual people? And could it be that in landing squarely on one side of the teeter totter that evangelicals are more anchored in culture than in a biblical perspective on these things?

Yes, it could be. It could be that the Greek heritage has overtaken the Hebrew heritage. Larry Crabb, in his book, "The Safest Place on Earth," comments that we have a choice: we can be either managers or mystics. Most of us feel somewhat out of place in community: we don't always feel safe where order is more relational and less defined and community itself is a mystery. We prefer structures we can understand and control.

The problem is, God is less interested in predictability and control than we are! Or, from another perspective, He wants to be the one in control, and He doesn't always tell us in advance what He is up to!

Equally important, all our wisdom is foolishness to Him.

Evangelicals (and charismatics, my most recent association) live on one side of the tension. We tend to trust our reason. We rely on technology and our structures to carry us. We would rather have a five year plan than a walk of faith. And let's be honest - we do oppose these things to the other. Faith is mostly something we privatize, something for the closet. To talk about a faith walk with finances, for example, is seen almost as heresy in some circles.

But maybe where there is lack on one side, there is plenty on the other. Catholics and the high church traditions, like the Eastern Orthodox, live on the other side of the tension. They have learned to live with mystery, and even to assign it a place of honor.

How do I know this is true?

For one thing, I read their books. I've been spying!

For another, I have known a few Catholics over the years, and attended a few retreats, and I have observed that they are comfortable with silence. Silence is the one element almost completely missing from evangelical meetings.

Have you ever wondered why?

Margaret Wheatley in her book, "A Simpler Way," reflects on modern organizations and their leadership. She comments,

I believe that we do many of the things we do because of fear. Fear that the bills won't be paid; fear that no one will come; fear that we will be alone. What could we be if we really left fear behind? What would we discover about Jesus and His kingdom? What would it be like if we really did trust the Holy Spirit?

Something else I have noticed about the structured church has bothered me for a long time. In spite of the many words about gifts and diversity, I didn't see diversity while in it. I saw similarity and homogeneity. I saw people who dressed the same, looked the same, and thought the same. I saw that a few gifts were always exalted above the rest, inevitably leading to comparison and striving and neglect of a whole set of gifts and people types.

Have you ever wondered why there is so little diversity in the average church? Wheatley has some insight...

When we are immersed in fear, our creativity disappears. We don't hear from the Lord. Our options narrow. We make the greatest mistakes when in this state.

Look at the diversity of creation. Do you see a playful creator? Do you see solutions, or just a love for life in all its expressions?

But what if we really let the Lord be the Lord? What if we really surrendered control to Him? What if we let God do the organizing? What if we lived with more spontaneity and even a bit of chaos? How would the church look different in our day, and what would be the result? Wheatley says that, "We need explorers, those willing to venture where there are no maps. We need tinkerers... Tinkerers have skills but no clear plans. They make do with the materials at hand. Tinkering opens us to what's possible in the moment."

Andre Gide

Let’s come back to the idea of mystery. I’ve been reflecting on mystery lately. On the whole, we evangelicals don’t know what to do with the concept. On the other hand, non-evangelicals make mystery the center of faith.

The contrast is striking. How do they manage to hold such a perspective in the midst of western and rational culture?

In the first place, according to some observers, western culture is in its death throes. For another, with the rise of quantum physics, even some physicists are getting friendly with the idea of mystery! The biologists and astronomers have been there for fifty years or more.

So while one part of our culture is living in one world (with a rationalistic worldview), another part of our culture has already left that place behind.

Some years ago Scott Peck wrote that, "There are two reasons people become religious: to approach mystery, and to escape mystery." But how do those of us who have grown up so Greek and western in our thought processes learn to approach mystery?

Approaching mystery isn’t an easy thing to do in our world of daytimers, constant interruptions, cellular phones and pagers. We have some unlearning and some learning to do.

The contemplative tradition offers some help. Pick up a book by Henri Nouwen, Thomas Merton, or Richard Rohr. Try "The Way of the Heart," by Nouwen, "New Seeds of Contemplation," by Merton, or "Everything Belongs," by Richard Rohr. You’ll be amazed at the wisdom there.

But isn’t this an intellectual approach to a heart problem? Yes – and no. Better get used to paradox! While on the one hand books are only collections of more words, as you read and pray your way through these meditative journeys on paper, you may find yourself meeting with God in new ways.

Rediscover the Lord’s Supper. While you’re at it, rediscover a sacramental approach to life. C.S. Lewis wrote that,

One of our problems is that we have slowly become Gnostics, affirming the reality of a spirituality that has no ties to matter. The incarnation pulls in a different direction. There is no spirituality apart from matter, the body, and the world of "shoes and ships and sealing wax, cabbages and kings."

Discovering God intimately involved with matter is something of a shock for some Christians, with almost a neo-pagan feel to it. Never mind. Celebrate the goodness of God the Creator. Bake a loaf of bread; open a bottle of wine. Before you know it, communion will happen.

But don’t stop there. The Westminster Confession defines sacrament as "the outward and visible sign of an inward and spiritual grace." For those who have eyes to see, the world becomes a sacrament of the gracious and creating god who dances and delights over His creation. Truly God meets us in unexpected places.