What!

Was that what just ran across the message board? As I drove down I-75 the big beautiful church’s electronic message board screamed out those words. I almost stopped to make sure what I had just read. I laughed out load as the message sunk in. Get God and get amnesia. Would God really want me to forget my past? The past where I first meet God forgotten, could it be? What anchor would I have? What history would teach me who I am and from where I came? Would God really ask that much of me if I was to follow him? Could God let me forget my past as if it never happened? Where would Israel have been if that was what God ask of them? How would we know God if we all had our pasts erased? As the church strives to witness to a changing world can we afford to use the tactics that have formed the tradition of evangelism in this country? Our world is changing from an explainable definable place into a chaotic and liquid ooze that is impossible to predict. As more people know nothing of the Christian God can we afford to teach them that the past that they cherished is the price to enter our spiritual heaven?

Our world has entered into an era where the church and its influence on society are severely limited. Assumptions made in past centuries no longer stand. Postmodernism has destroyed the quaint controlled world that most of us grew up in. A result of this destruction is a world that is pre-Christian. No longer can the church claim to have any influence on our culture. More people than ever know nothing of God or Christ. This loss of influence must result in the church understanding her mission to reach out to a searching world in a different light. Those of us who claim to be followers of Christ need to rethink how we help others in the transition from unbelieving to believing.

With the changes that engulf our world more people than ever will be coming to faith from a place that knows nothing about the history of God. We can no longer assume that people who seek God have a background that is based in Christian tradition or understanding. As people come into relationship with Christ later in life the intensity of their transition from self-focused to Christ focused will be overwhelming. The church must allow these new followers to mourn the lives they leave behind. If we are to enable people to experience the transforming power of God in their lives we must find a way to help them make the shift from an old way of being into a new way.

As a leader in the church and a person that came to faith later in life I must see the transition made by a new follower as a traumatic event. For too long the church has required people to ignore and forget their past lives once they accept the challenge of Christ. The damage that the church has inflicted upon multitudes may never be known. We can’t deny the pain that is involved for a mature person to leave a world in which they have invested everything. Salvation is not free and we must understand the costs of conversion. The focus of the church-when a person is transformed-is in most cases one of joy. This is an appropriate reaction. Yet, the church has a history of denying any mourning or sense of loss on the part of the person being changed. William Bridges in his book, Transitions, describes a process of transition that is foreign to the church’s understanding of conversion.

“Endings, The Neutral Zone and New Beginnings” are the stages Bridges describes as essential to any person’s successful transition from on reality to another. It is clear from Bridges research and experience that this process is part of how God created us. Each one of us needs to allow ourselves a period of change when we transition from one way of living to another. My experience in the church with conversions has been a one-dimensional understanding. Nowhere is space allowed for the process Bridges describes.

When a person is transformed and accepts the call of Christ they have to change everything. This transition is even more intense in our pre-Christian postmodern world. Our culture sees faith and especially Christian faith as cult like in nature. When a person becomes a follower of Christ and has come from a non-faith life experience every aspect of their existence will be effected. As a person helping someone through this transition I must be able to see it in the way Bridges articulates.

The “endings” that a person has to endure will be powerful. There will be intimate relationships that will be strained at best and lost at worst. There will be careers that may end or change. There will be family relationships that may not withstand the change. There will be internal struggles that may overwhelm the person. These are all real and profound results of the conversion process. The church as people who will live through this transition with those involved must be willing to allow a time of mourning. Christ asks us to sacrifice everything in our following and we must be able to see the cost involved. Too often the focus of the people helping someone be “saved”, is to ignore and suppress the pain the person is feeling. My conversion was at times more painful than it needed to be because many of the people who were helping “save” me did not see the need to allow the process of transition to be fulfilled. I must be willing to use my experience to inform my actions with those I will help through this transition. A person who accepts Christ must be allowed to work through the costs. If that person is not allowed time and reflection on what has been lost their transformation may never be complete.

When we in the church force people to see their pasts as a negative experience we risk destroying the work of God. God uses the experiences we have in our lives to teach ourselves and others the truth of who he is. For the church to teach people that there is nothing of value in the person they were before their conversion contradicts the fact that all people are created in God’s image. Yes, the place that was called home was a place that would lead to death but there was still value there. Most people will take a long and sometimes difficult road to God. This journey will have many turns that lead away from God and back to where we came. Helping people to see the value of their old lives and that God can use the things they learned there will allow them to fully embrace God.

The next phase according to Bridges is the “the Neutral Zone.” Bridges gives an image of emptiness as the embodiment of this place. The place where you struggle with the loss of what you once valued is the place where we can be most needed. If we use this time as a judgment on what the person used to be we risk pushing them back to their old life. The disciples questioned who Jesus was even when he appeared to them after his resurrection. We must see their questioning as a desire for the life they left. Doubt about the truth of Christ’s claims filled their minds. He had asked them to leave everything behind to follow him and now he was upping the ante. This is the same doubt and questioning we have all faced as we transitioned from a life of death into a life of purpose. This is the place where we question the decisions we have made. Was the price to high? Was it worth the sacrifice? Telling people that these are natural feelings will enable them to process their grief for their old selves and lives. For many the emptiness of the “Neutral Zone” is where they hear God most clearly. It is where they know that they are on the right path. In this painful and questioning time we must be prepared to be with the person in transition.

When Jesus became flesh and dwelt among us he gave us the standard for our involvement in others lives. We must be willing to dwell in the lives of others when they are at their most vulnerable. We must dwell with them when they are on the verge of going back to where they came. Dwelling among others is the call of anyone who accepts Christ and his call in their lives. To use that dwelling as a vehicle of judgment and insensitivity-not allowing mourning over a previous life-we deny God. It is easy for us to look at the pain and questioning of a person in transition to God as negative. It is much easier to tell them to suck it up and celebrate the new life they now have. It is easier to let my own insecurity and doubt to be expressed as impatience. Impatience that disallows the other person to make peace with the loss they are experiencing. It is in the empty time of the “Neutral Zone” that God will meet a person and show them the truth of what they have done. We must be there with that person with a language of compassion and patience. It is only then that the person will be able to see the power of what is taking place within them. It is then that they will begin to see the new home that God is calling them toward.

During each of our lives before and after we know God we experience times when it all seems right. Those times can come in the “Neutral Zone” and we must be there with the person in transition. In those times when we glimpse a vision of truth we must have others to share it with if we are to experience its fullness. It is in this experience that we begin to imagine our new home. This place is where we will heal and finish the transforming work of God in our life. Salvation is such a powerful gift from God that we must sacrifice all we were prior to accepting it if we are to allow its work to be fulfilled in our new lives.

Bridges calls it making a “New Beginning.” God calls it the peace that surpasses all understanding. The only way we can understand the totality of what God is doing in our lives is if we are allowed to mourn and let go of our past. The new creations that we become will never be fully rid of what they once were and if we allow that image of the past to be denied the cost can be great. For many people who journey toward God the break with the past was never allowed to be completed. In our effort to show someone the value of what they have been given we tell them that their past life was ugly and now forbidden. We were never created to have neat manageable lives. God has created us with freewill and in that creating has allowed us to experience both negative and positive aspects of life. If we-through our own fear-refuse to let a person coming to God remember and use their history we disconnect them from the truth of who they were created to be. In a postmodern world that wants authentic expressions of faith we must be willing to allow people who come to God to leave their past with positive and meaningful reflection. If that means we must learn to allow a time of mourning for the life that has been given up to follow Christ so be it.

When we hear God’s call to follow we must be allowed to deal with our history in a way that will make our understanding of our new home real. When Moses lead the people out of Egypt they were separated from the world that they knew without a time to grieve. This may be part of the reason that they desired to return to Egypt when things got tough. When a person hears God and responds to his call they are like the Israelites leaving Egypt. The life they must give up is the land of Goshen. The life they leave behind is a life of slavery and oppression. But we must never tell a person that the life they leave is worthless.

When the Israelites saw their chance for freedom they knew deep in their hearts that it was what God had promised Abraham. Yet, they had been investing themselves in a system that we see as restrictive and dangerous. Even though they lived their lives as slaves they still survived in a secure and known environment. When they left and were faced with the unknown they wanted their old lives. This is the same doubt and fear people who come to God from a faithless history will experience. A person who is trying to answer God’s call wants to return to the world that they knew. When God’s call becomes clearer in the solitude and pain of the “Neutral Zone” they naturally revert to the security of a known world. The Israelites were never allowed a time to mourn the loss of their oppressive existence in Egypt. They left their controlled and fearless lives for a place that no one knew. Where was this place Moses had been called to lead them to. It was in the Wilderness when they allowed their fear to overcome them and they built the calf that they had finally begun to see the new home God had prepared for them. However, there were many things to be dealt with before they could experience that home.

The person who is trying to fulfill God’s call and understand and embody a salvific lifestyle must be allowed to process and be transformed. Just as the Israelites wanted to go back and then once aware that they could not attempted to recreate a world they knew that person will want the same. This desire to turn back and recreate will be increased if we refuse to allow the power of solitude and pain to do its work. Leighton Ford once said, “solitude is the furnace of transformation.” In the quiet and pain filled world between our two homes we must be allowed to mourn and celebrate at the same time. In our mourning and celebration we open ourselves to the transforming power of God.

Once the Israelites had dealt with their past in the way God prescribed they could see the image of their new home. They had to rid themselves of their old lives and begin to see the world God had created for them. Once the ones who denied the mourning of the old life were gone those remaining were open to hear, see and know their new home. The Israelites went through the process Bridges describes in Transitions. Leaving Egypt, wandering in the wilderness and taking the new land where the same process that any person who comes to Christ must experience. Just as the Israelites wanted to go back so will those that seek Christ. Just as the Israelites built a calf to assail their fear so will those who seek Christ. When we dwell with people through the pain of ending and the transformation of the “Neutral Zone” we must create a space where fears can be expressed. That space must be a place of safety and security, a place where questions are answered with compassion and honesty, a place where God is allowed to work. When we demand that people ascend to a standard or image that we create we will be responsible if they fail. The people who are entering the transition for old to new life don’t know what the Promised Land looks like. They think a land of milk and honey means everything will be wonderful. We-the ones who already dwell in the land-must tell those seeking it that it is a place of pain and joy. We must never tell them that the life they left is unimportant and valueless. It was in the life that they just left that they encountered God. Each of them was created to dwell in the new land and we must be the ones who help them occupy their new home.

When Joshua lead Israel into Canaan there was still much work to be done. It was not until the past had been let go of and mourned that the land could be called home. As our world struggles to understand itself and what postmodernism really means, we as followers called to reach out to others must open ourselves to God’s leading. Just as the world has been made new from the tidal wave of postmodernism the church must help those who God is calling, mourn where they have come from and at the same time celebrate where they are headed. Israel always struggled with their understanding of where they had come. Yet, they always knew that it was God who had delivered them from lives of death. It is that understanding that we must help those seeking God to understand. The lives they leave are of value and the cost to leave them is great. We must be about the business of teaching those seeking God that we value their sacrifice. We must help them gain the tools to mourn the life they are sacrificing to follow Christ. In that teaching we will experience God in ways we never imagined possible.

In our quest to make disciples of all nations we must learn a new language. That language is one that values the lives people leave, the sacrifices they make, the cost they pay to answer the call of God in their life. Speaking this language will allow the power of God to be experienced in ways that will transform those learning and those teaching. When we are able to value the importance of change and the transition that change brings in the journey toward God we will be fulfilling the work of Christ in each of us. When God created he intended that we be complex and confusing creatures. When we seek to control and quantify people in ways that were never intended we destroy the natural process of change. Change is part of God’s design. Understanding how change enables and disables people is essential to the task of leadership. Seeing salvation as a gift that does have costs allows us to experience change the way God intended. Demanding that a person ignore or destroy their understanding of the costs involved risks the transformative work of salvation. When we understand our work as followers of Christ as one of dwelling in the lives of others we will be more open to see the truth. God wants us to experience salvation in a way that allows us to understand its costs. We must learn to celebrate the lives we left as places where God has done incredible things. In all of those lives we have learned lessons that we will use to reach others. In our reaching out to our future we must be willing to mourn and celebrate our pasts. It is in a clear understanding of what we left and what it cost that we can understand the cost to God to reconcile all of us to him. God risks everything in the hope that all his children would accept the challenge. We must also risk everything in our following and dwell among God’s people with honesty and compassion. Then we will understand the words of the Unicorn in C. S. Lewis’ The Last Battle’s chapter Further Up and Further In, “I have come home at last! This is my real country! I belong here. This is the land I have been looking for all my life, though I never knew it till now. The reason we loved the old Narnia is that it sometimes looked a little like this. Bree-hhe-hhe! Come further up, come further in.”