- By Garrett Rea

I saw them as soon as I came into the room: five of them clumped together, looking around the room. Immediately I knew that this was their first time to our youth group. The one who seemed to be the leader of the pack was a teenage girl. The others were looking to her for their cues on how to behave in our group. The leader of their little pack didn't know what to do either because she was new. Since that first day they came, I have heard each of them say separately: The reason I came back to your youth group is because I felt everyone liked me.

A welcoming group

If your church keeps 2 out of every 10 visitors, you have a growing church. At least that is what the statistics say. I would say the same about youth groups. If your group does a fair job of keeping people who visit, then it will grow. I talk to lots of youth leaders who complain about how their own kids in the youth group chase away visitors by staying in cliques, being rude, being critical, failing to welcome and be friendly. It seems common for youth pastors to want to build a growing group, only to be sabotaged by the very people he is pastoring. The goal is to have a community of believers. The main ingredient is practical love.

Demonstration

They will do what you do. It seems to me that if a youth pastor focuses on evangelism, then his kids will value it. The same goes for worship, service, and devotional life. If any issue is an underlying value in your life, it comes out in those you lead. You could go back to your files, go over old teachings and search for threads of spoken or unspoken values. For your youth group to be visitor friendly, you must possess a deep sense of the value of community.

Stephanie

Here is an example of the sort of group we want to develop. Stephanie came to the youth group because she was invited by her friend. When Stephanie arrived, she was greeted by Amber who asked her which school she went to. Stephanie told her which one, so Amber took Stephanie over to a student from that school and introduced them. That night, in our fellowship time before the start of the meeting, Stephanie was greeted by 10 kids who didn't know her. She played our game, worshipped with us, and listened to my talk. All night she had a smile on her face. At the end of the night she came up to me and gave me a huge hug. She had a tear in her eye when she told me that she felt great. I asked her what she meant by great. Her answer was that she felt love for real that night. What she was trying to tell me was that God had used our kids to show her, practically, the love that she would come to know in Christ. She gave her life to Christ two weeks later.

Suggestions

My kids are sold out to loving new and lost people. Here are some things that we do intentionally:

• Our teams meet at 6:00 to prepare for the 7:00 meeting. At 6:45 we all stop our meetings and go greet new people. This is an army of kids greeting. A new kid cannot come to our youth group without being connected relationally.
• I talk about how good our greeting is from the pulpit. I brag openly about how it helps us to accomplish our mission. I brag on kids who do it and brag about the important part that they play in the kingdom.
• I tell the "Stephanie" stories all the time to anyone who will listen.
• I watch each week for more success stories. When I see one, I point it out publicly.
• We tell kids who come the second time that this is now their youth group and that any new kids they see this week should be treated like a new visitor. They always tell me, "But I'm the new person. I'll look dumb." So I always reply, "If you are friendly to someone this week they will never think you are dumb. If the person you greet is not a new person but an old timer, then they will be impressed with you."
• I teach on the subject from time to time. It goes well in teaching about being a body, a family, our mission, the great commission, Love, who is your neighbor and so on.
• I also regularly do talks on relationship, forgiveness.

Say it again and again