One of the things I've begun to notice about the emerging church is a general sense of invincibility when it comes to the potential for conflict.  In the middle of all of our optimism about changing the rules and impacting our culture with the redemptive message of Christ, we haven't prepared well for the presence of the human factor.  In other words, while we seem to have made some exciting progress in developing deep levels of community within the emerging church, we haven't been intentional enough about preparing ourselves for how to handle life when people screw up and make a mess of things.

If the DNA of the emerging church does not include some sort of a game plan for ridding the body of disease, then it will suffer needlessly and painfully when the disease is present.  It is no profound insight that wherever two or more of Christ's followers are gathered in his name they're eventually going to screw each other over.  On the one hand our faith in God to handle whatever problems might arise is an endearing sort of naiveté, but on the other it is a foolish failure to count the costs of relationship.  We have yet to fully embrace the glorified life of Christ within us, and until we do, we will stubbornly and consistently create havoc for one another.

We need to spend some time considering the ugly reality of conflict and how we as the emerging church will commit ourselves to living a redemptive life toward one another.  It's not so much that we have any distinctive or new tools for handling conflict as much as we have the foresight to know that it will come up, and when it does, we'll know how to handle it.  It would be foolish for us to just assume that since we've got so many other things figured out that the problems will take care of themselves, or that we'll automatically know how to handle them when they arise.  While living real lives of transparency with one another may be one of our stronger elements in the emerging church, we will still face some blow-ups once in a while, and we will do well to prepare for them.

By expecting conflict, we will avoid one of the biggest mistakes we could possibly make --- being caught off guard by it.  We all know that selfishness, greed, and anger are not anomalies, so let's not be shocked when they come up within the life of the community.  If we are shocked by their presence, then we'll treat them as something more than they really are --- an unfortunate reality of life together.  If we are shocked by their presence, we will end up creating unrealistic standards of righteousness that, when broken, will shame people into silence and taint the commitment to honesty that real community demands.  If we are shocked by their presence, we will become self-righteous and legalistic in our approach to holiness - which we know is not holiness at all.  It's not that we take a light view of sin, but that we deal with it at an appropriate level.  This will free us to help one another in deep ways.  It will give us real opportunities for discipleship.

By expecting conflict, we will develop a relatively automatic courage in addressing problems in love.  If violations of righteousness are expected, then it won't be as painful for us to work with one another when they take place.  We will be much more likely to say, "Man, I hate it when that happens, but let's figure out a way together that we can prevent this from happening again," than "How dare you do something so awful!!"

By expecting conflict, we will be immediately able to lovingly apply principles of servanthood, forgiveness, and if necessary, discipline.  In the heat of the moment when the sting of hurt is present, we want to lash out and strike back.  But if we have decided in advance that we will choose the ways of Jesus in this situation, it becomes a safety net that will help save us from ourselves.

By expecting conflict, we will lessen the damage done to individuals and the whole body when conflicts come up.  When my wife and I were in premarital counseling, we learned a really helpful set of tools - we learned how to fight.  We were taught how to fight fair and resolve our issues in the healthiest way possible.  If we in the emerging church have a set of guidelines for how to fight fair in times of disagreement and hurt, we'll be quicker to get over things in a really God-honoring way.  We are in a covenantal relationship with one another, and preparing for conflict helps us protect and fulfill our commitments.

By being aware of conflict, a community of faith will actually be in a position to avoid it in many cases.  For example, if I'm aware of my own desires to be appreciated by others, I can work harder to serve humbly and anonymously, and not cause others to become bothered at my constant insistence to take credit for everything.

Expecting conflict may seem like a cynical approach to community life.  It may seem like a self-fulfilling prophesy.  In reality, it is common sense.  Conflict will be a part of our life together whether we predict it or not.  We can choose ahead of time how we'll handle ourselves.  We can be caught off guard by it and learn hard lessons, or we can predict it and learn hard lessons.  When we expect conflict, though, we will find that we have less volatile kinds of problems with less frequency and with less damage done to the church.