Before I propose what I consider to be the failure of Gen-X, let me list my qualifications to critique this generation. Simply stated … I am Gen-X. I’m 32, was raised on MTV, VCR’s and I have the attention span of a ferret to prove it. Tattoo? Got it. Piercings? Two of them. Dysfunctional family? Friend, my family put the “fun” in dysfunctional. If that weren’t enough, I have been on staff at Gen-X churches, spoken on the existence of God at Christian coffeehouses and spoken regularly to Intervarsity Large Group gatherings on multiple campuses. If that still isn’t enough … how about this? I am currently church planting with the intention of reaching my generation with a church experience that is relevant and transformational. My credentials as an “X’er” are impeccable. So it is with great affection and equal disappointment that I say this … Gen-X is failing.

“How is Gen-X a failure?” you might ask. The John Maxwell interaction is a narrative summary of exactly how I see Gen-X failing. See, to my friend, John Maxwell is just a Baby Boomer. A slick writer with formulas and lists for everything. And Gen-X doesn’t like lists. It doesn’t like formulas. It doesn’t like having its “complex existence” being reduced to the quantifiable and the measurable. To my friend, the idea that I could actually be helped in developing my own leadership to X’ers from a Boomer (gasp!) just didn’t fit his grid. Not ‘cutting edge’ enough. John Maxwell isn’t “X-er” savvy, so what could I possibly learn about leadership from a guy whose model of leadership doesn’t fit within the new emerging model of Generation X?

However, in its effort to be distinct and unique, Gen-X is rejecting the culture and wisdom of the Baby Boomers. For all its talk about embracing cultural interdependence and generational community … Gen-X has failed. The failure of Gen-X is that it does not embrace true community, but rather has settled for tribalism.

What is tribalism? Tribalism is when our God-given desire to connect with others for emotional support, personal identity and relational satisfaction does not seek fulfillment beyond those different than us. We form relationships around only those who “are like us.” Basically, we form our own tribes. Why do we do this? Quite simply because tribalism is the quickest and easiest path to relationship and it can even appear to be “community.” But tribalism is fractured community. It’s a pseudo-community that has no real diversity at all. Tribalism reflects back to us usually what we want to see and hear: that our way of thinking and seeing the world is “ok.” Perhaps even the right way to view the world. And, truth be told, most generations end up settling for tribalism. In this way, Gen-X is no different than the Boomers were in the 1960’s.

Now, you’re probably saying, “Well, if tribalism is normal and even our tendency, why are you giving Gen-X such a hard time?” Good question. Let me answer it this way. The idea of community is normally not embraced by those in the West. We value autonomy, liberty, disposable experiences and the power gained through material wealth. These values and pursuits tend to erode any significant sense of community. However, Gen-X was supposed to be different. Gen-X was supposed to be the generation that made a difference in a materialistic, Western worldview that fragmented the human soul.

Kris Cox in his book Gen-X and God discusses the impact of Gen-X being the first daycare and latchkey generation. Cox writes that “One benefit of being home alone as youth is that we value relationships. We long for real, meaningful, relationships.” In an article for the book Gen-X Religion, Donald Miller writes, “X’ers are a very tolerant group. They enjoy differences. Multiculturalism is in, while assimilation is out.”

This is what the books tell us. Gen-X is “all about relationship.” Gen-X is all about community. Right? Well … Yes and no. I believe “yes” in the sense that Gen-X really does want to have a heightened sense of community in their lives. I do believe that Gen-X wants community. However, I would also say “no” in the sense that Gen-X doesn’t really seem to want community outside of Gen-X’ers. It certainly doesn’t want it with Boomers. Gen-X wants community with itself and that’s not community. That’s tribalism.

Do you think I’m over-exaggerating? Do you think I’m simply over-reacting to a passing comment made by a guy in his middle 20’s whose life experiences are limited at best? I wish my experiences with Gen-X said otherwise. Don’t believe me? Try going to Gen-X websites and sample how leaders of these Gen-X churches describe themselves. Last week I read a church description at a well-known X’er website that described itself as being “born out of passion and rebellion.” Rebellion? Rebellion from what? Now I may be the exception but don’t we need less rebellion in the church? Do Gen-X church leaders truly expect God to bless anything that is initiated in a spirit of rebellion?

Now, lest you think I’m being too harsh on Gen-X, let me point out two things. One, I know that I am painting with the broadest of brush-strokes here. Not every Gen-X ministry is guilty of being more about tribalism than community. However, I don’t wish to “soften the blow” by letting most Gen-X ministries off the hook either. It’s been my experience and it is quickly becoming my belief that most Gen-X ministries are more focused on tribalism rather than on creating community.

My second point is that I know that Gen-X has itself been failed. Gen-X did not just arrive on the cultural scene two minutes after MTV played “Video Killed the Radio Star.” Oh no. Gen-X’s parents (the Boomers) left an entire generation at home while they went out and pursued high paying careers. As a result, we are the first latchkey and day-care generation - evidenced by the fact that 50% of us are from broken or remarried families. We are also the first generation expected to have a lower standard of living than our parents as we try and shoulder the multi-trillion dollar debt handed down from the “greed is good” generation.

And these failures of the Boomers have left Generation X with a tragic beauty. Beautiful in that we have been uniquely wounded and that our wounds have left us predisposed to an uncompromising pursuit for the community that we lacked growing up. But it is also “tragic” in that the way we have been wounded has also left us ill equipped to actually create community in the world today. We just don’t know how to do it. We know that we don’t have a strong sense of community and we want it, but we lack the skills to actually create it because our parents never modeled it for us … so we’re kind of on our own. And we are failing.

I want to end this by saying that I have abounding hope for Gen-X. I believe that we have the best opportunity to be a part of a God-work that may transform life in the American church today. Our generational disillusionment with organized religion plays itself wonderfully into God’s hands. Our dual desire for yet inability to create community leaves us open to a tremendous work of the Spirit in our lives and in the Church. Why do I have this hope? Or perhaps the question you may be asking is this: What is the hope of Gen-X? Quite simply, the hope of Generation X is the church of Jesus Christ.

Why do I say that? Think about it this way. Where in the world is Gen-X going to get the resources to increase community in their lives? Is it in the shopping malls? On the Internet? From credit card companies? Sorry, in the marketplace we are just another consumer to be satisfied. We may get a temporary sense of community in some of those places, but we just end up “buying it” really and in the end, we are the ones being used. No, the message of community is only going to be found in a place where a mandate has been given to live it out. Guess where that is? Yep … The Church is the only hope for Gen-X, because it is only here, where in the lives of God-centered leaders and communities of the Spirit, will true community be seen and experienced. And it’s only here that Gen-X can reasonably expect it because it is in the church where the mandate of extending love, pursuing oneness and being the actual functioning body of its leader where they will find it. God expects the church to be a true community of faith visible to the world around us.

Now, I know the church isn’t 100% there yet. That’s why it’s a “hope” and not a reality. But hope should awaken us Gen-X, Christian leaders to examine how we are being the church to people today. Do we really want community or do we want our Gen-X way? Are we pursuing a tribalistic focus in our ministries? How diverse are our personal relationships? Are we willing to learn the delicate dance of being authentic people (unapologetically being who God has called us to be) and yet embracing and learning from those different from us (those whom God has called them to be) even if it means embracing some wisdom from Baby Boomers (gasp!)?